WriteMyke

I feel as if I could speak volumes and be ignored. If I could rattle mountain ranges with calm voice, I would scream and still go unheard. I’m trapped in a living nightmare of negativity and void of savory outcomes. My reality lately is simply of no control, it’s like silently fine-tuned rejection. I have no ripple of persuasion, no utterance of opinion. All I have is drive, but no direction. I’m oscillating and full-throttle, stuck in neutral and backing down an ever-steepening hill. I feel that I am able to simply lift all this nonsense over my head but my feet haven’t any grip. I’m slowly sinking and I am losing composure. I feel pressure when there is none. My fickle grasp of this thing called reality is slipping from my sight and life is decreasing in ease. I’m told stories about how this is just how it is, however this change has occurred in rapid succession as of recent. I can not seem to find any release. There is no relief, it just keeps coming like swimming in choppy water....

So, I was in Boston for St. Patrick’s Day a little over a week ago and I fell in love with the city. I had an awesome time and I will be posting a blog of my adventure soon. However, this blog is about something else. It’s about the fact that I finally solidified something about me: I feel more alive within or in close proximity of a large city and I, one day, plan to relocate to a large city. I once, with large intent, planned, articulated, and set in motion a movement to, uh, move to Miami after a short vacation to visit a friend that lived in the area. I still have a Miami area code actually. Yet, due to unforeseen circumstances I still live in Charlotte and, in hindsight, I’m glad. I’ve put some serious consideration into moving to Chicago as well. I have family up there and I absolutely dig it’s vibe as well. My recent trip to Boston left a similar internal passion to set up a change of scenery. And, we can’t forget the lingering pull to head back towards my home-front, Seattle...

I had a revelation and, then, a realization yesterday when, for the second Tuesday in a row I played some form of golf, which, in this case was disc golf. I realized that I was enjoying a game that tested my patience, which used to be my least favorite kind of game. I used to lose my patience easily and quit. Now, I like the challenge. I like playing against myself, against that voice that says I can’t. The more I do this, the smaller the voice gets and the more I get to laugh and say: I can. Upon looking back, this all started on November 1 st , it was the day I quit smoking. I decided to gift that to my Mum for Christmas. I gave her the first cigarette that I would never smoke. The one that was sitting on my desk, begging and willing to be set ablaze, inhaled, and continue to blacken my sensitive lung tissue; the cigarette that I starred at and mocked the presence of on a daily basis. It was a great idea and awesomely executed. She loved it, and my plan came even more into ...

This started on a Facebook post of mine. This was the post: Myke wonders why it's a test when bad things happen to good people. You know, sans faith, it's basically unjust punishment... - A Friend of Mine posted: " Bad things happen to good people because there is no God and everything is random. Please reply back if you want to argue out the issue. I love religious debates. Life has no inherant meaning besides the one we give it as individuals." - Myke: " Mr. -----, my faith does not rest upon my god, I've fought an internal struggle with that since I was five. However, most the time I do believe that there is something more. There are just too many coincidences for life to exist. Let alone intelligent and conscious life. Still, all that said, my faith lies within balance. (I love these things to, but I like to view them more as discussions...)" - Friend: " Debate, discussion, as long as they arent called arguments...

So, here’s this: I am a twenty-six year old college drop out with all the intentions of becoming a professional Dj. I plan to go back to college but I still haven’t answered the question that allowed me to excuse myself from continuing my college career, “What do I want to do?” I work as a server and a bartender. I have recently moved in with some friends and for the first time a can all the place I live my own. I’ve always spent time wondering about the world and the perception that comes from the reality that we believe to be true. I fancy myself a “free thinker,” and, because of this, and the fact that just about everyone who has taken time to read anything I have put thought into digs what I have to say, I’ve decided to publish a blog. I was born in Ohio and before I could develop any long-lasting memories of it, my family moved to a place just outside of Seattle. I contribute the environment I grew up in to my extreme open-mindedness. When I had just became a teenager my f...