Building a Better Me

I had a revelation and, then, a realization yesterday when, for the second Tuesday in a row I played some form of golf, which, in this case was disc golf. I realized that I was enjoying a game that tested my patience, which used to be my least favorite kind of game. I used to lose my patience easily and quit. Now, I like the challenge. I like playing against myself, against that voice that says I can’t. The more I do this, the smaller the voice gets and the more I get to laugh and say: I can.

Upon looking back, this all started on November 1^st, it was the day I quit smoking. I decided to gift that to my Mum for Christmas. I gave her the first cigarette that I would never smoke. The one that was sitting on my desk, begging and willing to be set ablaze, inhaled, and continue to blacken my sensitive lung tissue; the cigarette that I starred at and mocked the presence of on a daily basis. It was a great idea and awesomely executed. She loved it, and my plan came even more into fruition when she asked my sister if I’m really going to stick with it. My sister’s reply: he hasn’t smoked for two months. Oh yeah! If I quit the day before could I really claim that I quit? (The answer is no; no you can’t)

Anyway, I’m getting off topic, the fact is that I can argue that starting smoking was one of the best moves I’ve done in my life. Before you judge and/or disagree, let me make my case. Now, I fell into the downward spiral of starting as a casual/social smoker and slipping gradually into a full-time-can’t-get-enough-smoke-every-chance-I-get kind of smoker. Yet, there was always a promise to myself: No matter what, no matter how long, no matter the issue, case, or situation, I would kick the habit one day. This act of willpower, determination, and discipline taught me something about myself: I really can do anything I put my mind to.

Since that point in my life, I’ve been exploring the concept of self-reliance. I’ve started back at college, actually pay attention and stay motivated; I paid off a credit card; I frequent the gym; I go grocery shopping, buy things on sale, and cook (healthy) dinners at home; I manage my money better; wake up and don’t hit the snooze for as long as I can; I am turning into a Myke that my dream-inspired, childhood-version of myself wouldn’t shake his head at. I can really attribute the act of kicking my nicotine addiction to the curb as the catalyst of this snowball effect. However, without cause there is no effect and I can make the case that starting smoking was the cause. A lesser feat would have left me, as many times in the past, ill-inspired.

Now, I can’t say that this is something that best suited for everyone, nor will I ever urge someone to start smoking to prove something to themselves. However, I will advise anyone to exercise his or her willpower and discipline on a daily basis for I believe most people, myself included, all too often sell themselves short and would be amazed at what they find they can accomplish.